How to Forgive Others and Yourself at the Same Time | Ho’oponopono

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Grudges Only Hurt You: Practice Forgiveness Exercises

Ho’oponopono is a great forgiveness exercise that helps each person feel the freedom of forgiveness from a personal level. This is just one type of forgiveness exercise. We are going to cover a few ways to foster and give forgiveness over the next few paragraphs. So, hold on to your hats and get ready to fly through this.Forgiveness Hug Pic

It is important for every person to learn how to forgive. They truly should not forget the lessons they learned along the way, but it is important for them to be able to forgive and move on.


“To Forgive and to Forget” is truly the worse way to look at any opportunity created by a life lesson. I am not the only one that feels this way either.

The Character Council provides a Forgiveness Exercise in an article that is only 4 steps long.

The 1st step is to take responsibility and admit what you did wrong.

Step 2… Use empathy and truly apologize by stating how your actions effected the other party.

The 3rd step is to ask the other person how you can make it up to them and follow through. And the 4th step is exactly the opposite of what most people quote about forgiveness…

The 4th step is “Alter Your Choice in the Future.” This step cannot be accomplished if you “Forgive and Forget.”

The need to learn forgiveness is very true and essential, but…

FORGETTING the lessons learned about your choices and your decision-making, your character and the character of others, personal desires, actions, and outcomes should never be forgotten… Do you agree?

Why Did I Mention Grudges Earlier?

Well… Grudges are not good things. They can be little or big grudges. You may not even know you are holding a grudge, but the other person can probably tell through your facial expressions and jesters without you even being aware of it.

See, Grudges only hurt the person carrying them. They cause you to give off a vibration that doesn’t truly match your desires and some times it is fast, but normally…

Slowly that grudge ventures into your personal life and you begin treating other people the same way as you treat the person you secretly or don’t secretly have a grudge against and again…

You may not even be aware of it.

How Do I Know If I Am Carrying a Grudge?

A blog called, “Follow Your Own Rhythm,” provides a very quick assessment that anyone can use to see if they are carrying a grudge…even secretly in their subconscious.

I can paraphrase it for ya, but I recommend you visit the blog and check it out.

It is very easy to do. When you think about a certain person, how does it make you feel? What feelings come to mind. These feelings give it all away to any person in tuned with their feelings and emotions.

Barbara says,

  1. “If you feel anger, blame, bitterness, resentment, hatred, or some other heavy negative emotion, it means you still haven’t forgiven them.
  2. If you feel neutral and emotionally stable, you’ve forgiven them and moved on.
  3. If you feel love and compassion towards the person, you’ve completely transcended your pain.

If you knew already that you were carrying a grudge, then this exercise may not mean that mush to you. But… if you find you still hold a grudge even after you thought you forgave the other person, then these 3 simple steps were all too enlightening, right?

Personal Forgiveness

The Forgiveness Exercises mentioned above are great for dealing with issues involving forgiveness with other people, but what if you need to provide yourself personal forgiveness?

Psychology Today provides a great personal forgiveness exercise that is very powerful when dealing with personal issues and even areas of self-doubt. The article goes in pretty deep into the subject of forgiveness and why it is vital and necessary for a well-balanced life. (You can read the article by clicking here.)

I really like using the personal forgiveness exercise mentioned above. I used the same technique for many didn’t personalHo'oponopono Define transformations over the years until I learned about Ho’oponopono.


What about Ho’oponopono? 

Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice that is truthfully a forgiveness exercise. The greatest part is it allows you to forgive another and forgive yourself at the same time.

You can read more about it in this earlier post.

What I truly enjoy about Ho’oponopono is the practice reflects not only my beliefs, but the beliefs of other life coaches like me but also psychologist, Carl Jung, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves

This Forgiveness Practice seems to hit this idea right on the head.

There are only 4 steps in Ho’oponopono. Four easy steps that require one to understand that the problem they see in others is just a reflection of themselves.

To practice this forgiveness exercise all you do is go home and chant four sentences to yourself until you feel better. You do this every time you feel like you have an issue with the outside world.Asdabbi Ho'oponopono Pic

  • Step1: Say “Thank you”
  • Step 2: Say “I Love You”
  • Step 3: Say “I Am Sorry”
  • Step 4: Say “Please Forgive Me”

I know it sounds easy and it is!!


It has worked for me on many occasions. I had never heard of it until I was introduced by Joe Vitale through one of the many programs I have purchased over the years.


Well, I hope this article has enlightened you and helped you manifest some new ideas about dealing with forgiveness. There are many approaches one can take. You just need to use your imagination and spark some creativity to come up with your own.

It’s not that hard through…

There are plenty of great ideas for Forgiveness Exercises all over this giant web, now aren’t there?

All that Matters Is….

You do find your own way to forgive, learn, and move on using your new knowledge.

==>I would love to hear your experiences, questions, and thoughts about this subject, so please feel free to leave a comment below. I normally respond within 24 hours. Feel free to share this information with anyone you think will benefit from it. Talk with you later, Greg<==

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6 thoughts on “How to Forgive Others and Yourself at the Same Time | Ho’oponopono”

  1. This is an exciting way of looking at forgiveness. With all that is happening in the world today, it is important to forgive not only others, but yourself as well. It is not cool to hold a grudge against yourself. That is just slowly killing yourself. Anyway, thank you for this post. I learnt something awesome today and I really enjoyed it.

  2. Wonderful advice about forgiveness & not holding a grudge my Friend!

    I watched & liked the Youtube video as well as subscribed to the channel.

    Thank You so very much for always sharing & caring Asdabbi,


  3. Thank you for sharing this very interesting take on forgiveness.

    I am a Christ follower and I have learned to forgive because I have been forgiven. Humility is often a hard lesson to learn but oh so necessary. Forgiveness is easier that way too.

    Many thanks again

    • Thanks for stopping by. You are so correct that it is easier to give forgiveness once you go through humility. For me it was a mixture of humility and humbling.

      Have a great one and thanks for leaving your thoughts!


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